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"Claudia Leoni," I read on the entry card. "Italian Country Bread." I don't know who Claudia Leoni is," I said, "but I think I'm going to marry her. Look at that bread." Hmm. Don't say that too loud," Rose said. "I know Claudia and she might take you up on that." You know her?" Yeah. She's going to be a senior. I'll introduce you, but you need to keep your emotions under control, little boy." Hey, look who's talking, Short-stuff." Oh yeah. You're big compared to me, but compared to Claudia, you're a little boy. The best part for you is that her boobs are as big as mine. Unfortunately, the rest of her would make two or three of me. And she's about the same height!" You know I don't care about that stuff. I want to learn to bake this kind of bread." You don't care that you always sit at a table of hot girls?" Brenda asked. "Or that your former girlfriends also qualify as being hot? Or that your guardian angel is some kind of supermodel?" Do I come off as unappreciative?" I asked. Crap!. "Dig deeper, then," Mom said. "It was three o'clock this morning when Grace came home. I was up worried half-sick, doing my mother hen bit, when your sister came flowing through the door with the gleam of love in her eyes. She ignored my angry questions as if I were mute, or she was deaf, gave me a goodnight hug, and skittered off to bed."I nodded and said, "I'll have a private talk with Dean today, Mom." I'd planned such a talk with him anyway. I glanced at my mother. Did she have some room in her worry place for some teasing? Yeah, she did. "What should I do? Tell Dean if he touches Grace that I'll neuter him?" No!"I laughed. "Gotcha."Her face went slack, and then she smiled. "I won't get even, young man. I'll get ahead." Gulp," I said feigning fear, which made her laugh. "Mom, if Grace came floating through the door with the gleam of love in her eyes, it was new love. I saw the same gleam when she met another young man named Troy at the Crane cocktail party. She was atwitter, so.
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